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Day 8: The first rule of buttcrack at CrossFit

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This morning I went to the gym at 6am sporting some cute compression pants/running tights I found at Tarjjjay.  I usually work out in shorts or running crops/capris and a tank with a sports bra, but uhhhhh… it’s gotten pretty damn cold here this week. I am not trying to catch pneumonia by running around outside in teeny clothes, so I decided to suck it up and get some long pants to work out in.  My heart wants Lululemon WunderUnders. My wallet said Tarjjjjay is the only acceptable option.

One problem.  Going the cheap(er) route backfired.

Today’s WOD included burpees and a lot of them.  My new pants decided that they didn’t want to cooperate with my body going through such spastic movements. The spandex devil-spawn fkcukers kept creeping downward off my arse while I was repeatedly hurling myself in the direction of the ground!

Acceptable buttcrack.

unacceptable buttcrack

People. Plumber-butt is NOT ALLOWED at CrossFit. I think HQ has an actual rule against it. If they don’t, they should.

I think I spent a good whole minute of my entire 11:25 workout pulling the damn things up so that I wouldn’t flash anyone my ladybits.  I finally gave up and tucked my damn tank top into the waistband of the pants. With my stupid long legs and high waist, I looked dead seksay, let me tell you.  But hey, at least they stayed put on my ass while I ran a mile after that burpee, deadlifting, abdominal torture nonsense.

Moral of the story: there’s a reason some things are sold on the the cheap. Let me enlighten you. The quality sucks. 

I have only caved and purchased Lululemon attire once (and I LOVE THEM but they are shorts), but I guaran-damn-tee you my next purchase will be a pair of these!

And to hell with the price.  If they keep my ass covered, I’m SOLD.

13 responses »

  1. Check out Old Navy workout pants. I LOVE them! They fit very similar to the one and only pair of lulumeons that I own as well, but for a fifth of the price. I know a few crossfitters that wear them with no crack.

    Reply
  2. You keep your lady bits in your ass crack? I don’t think thats normal, Peach.

    Reply
  3. Sometime as they say “It costs a little more to go first class” either that or buy some cheap suspenders 🙂

    Reply
  4. Do you ever wear Lucy? I love them, and they are not as pricey as Lululemon. Plus, once you get on their email list, you will pretty much always have a coupon. I don’t do crossfit, so I can’t speak to the butt crack issue, but I can vouch for them in yoga and cardio barre. No butt crack in plow position, or doing butt blasters.
    All of that sounded kinda dirty, btw. Sorry. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Yeah, there are some things you have to pay more for…workout pants, yes, and sports bras are another.

    But there aint nothin’ cuter than a little puppy butt!

    Reply
  6. Do the pants come with the flat stomach? If so, I’ll take 10 of ’em.

    Reply
    • Dittos yos…

      Argh! I’ve got wonderunders…purchased at the beginning of a “getting back into running” they were too big by week three, and now they are crack-tastic…I have promised myself a new pair after I finish my first half!

      Reply
  7. Pingback: Sunday Style Share: Lands’ End Love and Peach’s Winter Addictions « Fifty Shades of Peach

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