First things first. I would like to give a ginormous shout-out to Pish Posh for her week 2 post. Not only did I laugh my ass off at the Fuck You, Flowers picture but she inspired me to be brave in my telling of this week’s events. So with a deep breath and a big swig of my cup o’ joe…
Good things about this week:
Workouts included CrossFit Friday, Monday, Tuesday, and today. Yoga was Saturday, and the tutu race was Sunday. Food-wise, I’ve eased up on the spoon-to-almond-butter ratio this week and the only booze I’ve had was one celebratory cider beer after the race. As for the resting, my body is simply worn out at the end of every day but it’s Jason (the amorous new boyfriend) who makes it difficult to go TO sleep… not that I’m complaining. Not one bit.
Bad things about this week:
The battle with the froyo/ice cream continues. Pints of So Delicious and Almond Dream (both non-dairy ice creams) were purchased on Sunday. And last night Jason decided he wanted to stop at the Haagen Dazs shop. And they had Coconut Macaroon. I. Was. DOOMED.
Weekly Theme #1 – Friendship
A few months ago, one of the girls from CrossFit asked me (the rookie) to join her and 3 other CF’ers in running a relay race… in which we’d all wear tutus. How could I possibly say no?!?!
Each of us had to run 3.43 miles, which made me nervous because A. These girls have been doing CF for YEARS. B. Two of them are marathoners. C. My fastest 5K time is laughably slow… like 38+ minutes slow. But guess what? I ran my leg in 34:20! Surprised the hell outta myself, that’s for damn sure. Maybe it was all the torture I’ve put myself through since June with CF. Maybe it was the beautiful weather that day. It sure as hell WASN’T thanks to all the hills on the route!! My best guess? It was the tutu. Our team didn’t come close to placing and lost the costume contest to a group that dressed as characters from that awful show American Gladiators
screw those guys but we had so much fun!!! I’m glad I did it.
Weekly Theme #2: Insecurities
My body has been heavy, with thick thighs and WHOA tatas. My body has also been frail and undernourished and overstressed. But at present, my body is healthy. Yet I am STILL critical of the way it looks. My butt has grown to massive proportions, people. At least according to every single fucking pair of pants I own that no longer fit and I’ve thrown on the top shelf of my closet in disgust. It pisses me off that I now have fat rolls/muffin top in my favorite pair of jeans (which have fit me for YEARS) despite the work I’m putting into my diet AND in the gym. My butt has grown so much that the waistlines of my pants are too tight. Sonofabitch.
When I got dressed for a girl’s night out on Monday, it led to a near panic-attack and my closet kinda threw up on my bed. I found something that seemed okay: super-stretchy slim-boot-cut jeans and a soft sweater that draped enough to hide the tummy pudge, then I threw on some killer heels and out I went. All was fine until I encountered a huge, full-length mirror in the restaurant bathroom. And I looked ridiculous. I turned to the side and what stared back at me was a giant ass propped up on 4ft tall toothpicks. Horrified, I fled back to the table and sat for the rest of the night, bladder be damned.
However, one amazing thing about my fledgling relationship with Jason is that he makes me feel safe in being honest and open. In the last few days, he and I have talked a lot about our respective relationships with our body shape/size. His story is opposite of mine. Where he was recently quite heavy, he is now ridiculously lean and muscular. I started from zero and I’m adding onto the existing frame. HE couldn’t be happier with leaning out and seeing muscles. *I* am pissed the fuck off that my impossible-to-find-and-stoopid-expensive jeans don’t fit anymore… all because of my ass and thigh muscles. Fuck you, ass and thigh muscles. But Jason? He listened patiently while I
hormonally bashed everything about my body I hated, grabbing folds of tummy grossness and thigh/ass chunk in the process.
Walking over to me, he calmly looked straight into my eyes, took my face in both his hands, and said that I’d need to get over all that bullshit really quickly because he thinks I’m beautiful in every way. And then told me he loved me for the first time.
I shut up. After I told him I loved him back. 🙂
So no more bitching about the size of my arse or the crappy fit of my clothes. Tonight, Peach goes shopping!!! I will not hyperventilate over the sizes I need to buy to cover my arse appropriately. I will accept that my previously weak-skinny frame is not getting fatter, it’s getting stronger. Besides, Jason adores my ASSets. (womp womp)
Lastly, it’s RECIPE TIME!
PEACH’S PALEO SPAGHETTI (SQUASH) BAKE
- 1 whole spaghetti squash
- 2 tablespoons organic coconut oil
- 1 small red pepper, diced
- 1 large zucchini, diced
- 1 carrot, shredded
- 2 small yellow squash, or 1 large
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tomato, diced
- 16 ounces tomato sauce (I used Rao’s Homemade Marinara – Tomato and Basil)
- Spices for veggies to taste: smoked paprika, celery salt, garlic
- powder, black pepper, italian seasoning
- 1/2 to 1lb ground beef. Grass-fed is preferred. If not, use the most organic, lean version available.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Poke spaghetti squash all over with a knife and cook in the microwave for eight to 12 minutes until soft. If you don’t have a microwave, place the poked squash on a baking pan and bake at 375 degrees for 45 to 60 minutes.
- While that’s cooking, add the oil, garlic, pepper, zucchini, squash, and carrots to a pan, cooking over medium heat.
- When done, cut the spaghetti squash in half, scoop out the seeds, and with a fork, scrape the flesh from the peel. It should flake off easily in strings, resembling spaghetti.
- Place the spaghetti squash flesh in a 9×13 casserole dish. Add the cooked veggies, diced tomato, meat, sauce, and mix well.
- Bake for 30 minutes.
- Allow to cool for five minutes, serve, and enjoy!
AND, it’s good FOR you. Check out the stats!