RSS Feed

Pretty Wrapping

Posted on

Leaning against the cushioned bar, he lifted neat scotch to his lips and eyed every inch of her. She was a tiny brunette thing, with what he’d guess was a sweet ass under the tiny strapless sundress. She was here with friends, but was obviously uninterested in participating in the current squealing-female round of tequila shots.  Zane would wager a week’s pay that she’d be the type to let him cop a little feel real quick. He’d have to see what he could do about finding out.

She didn’t need to glance up from her seat at the bar’s corner to know he was watching her.  She was intrigued by the way that he seemed to stare, not at, but into her.  He was so damn handsome – built, light of eyes, with speckles of grey in the facial scruff. Maybe this one would keep her interest longer than those recent idgits with more bedroom power than brain power. Cassie would wager a week’s pay that he’d be the type to actually listen and have something to say in return. She’d have to see what she could do about finding out.

She didn’t have much more time to wonder about him. He pushed his lanky body off the bar and walked directly toward her. Cassie went on full alert as her brain shouted, “Please don’t be an asshole!”.

“Buy you a drink?” His voice had a sexy huskiness.

Lifting her chin to meet his face full on, she replied steadily, “No, thanks. But I wouldn’t say no to some company. What’s your name?”

He replied, “Zane. My name is Zane.”

“Well, Zane, I’m Cassie. Have a seat and keep me from killing my best friends.”

The corners of his full mouth twitched as he slid onto the stool next to her. “And why would you want to kill them? They just seem like they’re having a little fun.”

Cassie sighed and looked sheepishly over at her girls. “I know. Normally I’d be over there with them, but I guess I’m not feeling it tonight.”

Shifting on the stool so that their knees were touching, Zane leaned in close to say, “I’m glad you’re here. It gave me an excuse to come talk to you.” Cassie rewarded him with a dazzling grin.

For the next hour the zing of attraction was clearly visible to everyone else in the room as Cassie and Zane finished their drinks and ordered another. Pleasantly surprised to find that there was a brain and a biting sense of humor behind the looks, Cassie thought that her impression may have just been correct for once.  Her spirits were high as she politely excused herself to powder her nose.

She was humming as she washed her hands, touched up her lip gloss and pulled open the door of the ladies room to return to the dreamy Zane.  Cassie had only taken one step out before she found herself shoved roughly against the wall of the shadowed bathroom hallway, and Zane’s mouth took hers aggressively. She protested, bringing her hands up to his chest and shoving, but they didn’t move the solid wall of testosterone. The assault continued as she struggled to free herself, getting more pissed off by the second.

Realizing her best option was appeasement, Cassie relaxed long enough to feign acceptance of the torment.  She sighed out a moan and Zane’s body eased back just enough for him to say against her lips, “I knew you wanted this too. You look too fucking good not to.”. His hands began to make their way under the rear of her dress. “Now, what do we have under here?”

Those hands didn’t reach their intended location before Cassie smiled sweetly and firmly planted knee to groin. Zane crumpled before he could process what had happened. She glared down at his curled body and spit at him, “THAT’S what we have under here. Looks are deceiving aren’t they, Zane?” She spun so fast in her heels that her sundress twirled in her wake.

As she left her friends and drove away into the night, Cassie was simply fed up.  Not only with tonight and the fuck-o currently cradling his aching balls, but with the string of idiocy she’d encountered recently. She huffed out a disgusted snort and thought that all too often, a man was just a man – all heat, no substance. And so far, they had all underestimated her.

Yet she stubbornly refused to let go of the belief that one of these days, she’d meet someone who didn’t. Someone who could see past the pretty wrapping and respect the whole package. Because she’d be damned if she’d settle for less.


This piece is being submitted to this week’s Yeah Write Challenge.  What is Yeah Write?  Pshhh.  Only the best writing/blogging community on teh internets. Git you some.

23 responses »

  1. I love how you started with the stereotypical attraction and ended so $%^& awesomely. You foreshadowed it great in the first paragraph – I was left wondering “what does he mean by cop a feel? is that as creepy as it sounds?”, lulled in the middle “maybe he’s okay” then expecting you to do the classic “oh, but she really liked it” then she got him. Bravo, hon.

  2. Woo, that was quite powerful! I’m glad the story turned out the way it did…I was worried it’d go in the other direction. Cassie is a complete bad ass! Great story.

  3. Yee-haw!! I think I have a crush on this chick! Thank you for not going sappy!

  4. love the name Zane. the damn fuck-o. so proud of that Cassie.
    love the way you got into both characters- starting with fuck-o and ending with rockstar Cassie.

  5. I loved the ending here. Not in a “Yay that that happens to people and Todd Akin is legitimately right about stuff!” way but in a well written, nice twist way.

    I’ll be honest – and this is totally my hangup, nothing to do with your writing – whenever I start reading anything that sounds like a romance here’s what goes through my head: “Okay. I’m all for steamy but, please, God, don’t let this be another ‘Twilight’-esk situation where a chick stands around being slavishly dazzled by her body’s hollowy portrayed Pavlovian response to an emotionally stunted douchebag who I’m very glad ended up being a vampire or whatever because at least then there’s some explanation for the wholly unrelatable epic level of weird assholery he displays.” Not only was this piece *not* that, which always makes me happy. But I actually enjoyed reading. Nice job!

  6. Engaged from the first. Really strong character. I’m into reading more.

  7. Well done. I find it unfortunate that this strong woman is not the norm in fiction, in life, in everyone’s mind. It’s 2012, not 1912. But, whatever it takes to make that happen. I enjoyed your post for that reason. We need all the strong women characters we can get until when we read of one we say, Well, of course she did, instead of Bravo, you go girl. Nicely written.

  8. You go, girl! Give us more of this strong and sexy Carrie, please and thank you.

  9. So happy Cassie was so awesome, someone needs to put those Zane’s in place! Very nicely written!

  10. Bahaha you can’t not love a story with a good kick to the balls in it.

  11. Cassie rocks! I love that she put Zane in his well-deserved place, that she took control and wouldn’t be dominated. Yay for girl power!

  12. This kicked ass. Literally. Very entertaining and not stereotypical at all. I’d love to read more about Cassie. Such an intriguing character!

  13. Very well done, Peach! Well paced, great voice. Great job!

  14. Peach! I was missing you, so glad you are on the grid. This is a great story. I love the name Zane and I didn’t see that coming. I love the detail of her humming and putting on lip gloss in the bathroom. She’s sassie and I like it.

  15. Cindy - The Reedster Speaks

    Glad you are on the grid – I’m wondering if a certain word ending in “-o” might have been the alternate title? God I’m glad I don’t have to hang out in bars anymore.

  16. I loved the way it ended. I thought I knew where it was going when it started and then wham – left turn. Brilliant!

  17. LIke the other commenters, I agree. Glad Cassie took care of herself. Your writing painted a great story. I was there and caught up in it. Good job.

  18. This is a really powerful piece! Cassie is a great character, and I wouldn’t mind reading more about her!
    Hint hint.
    Great job with this one!

  19. I was so worried she was going to be one of those weak characters who decides she likes to be treated in a crappy manner. So happy she had balls of her own!

  20. Zane learned his lesson that night.

  21. Cassie is my kind of girl, looking for the whole package. And if it’s not there? She’s going to hurt the package….Great job!

  22. Pingback: Day 16: Underestimated « Fifty Shades of Peach

  23. Pingback: Day 16: Underestimated | Fifty Shades of Peach

Speak your Mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: